“Daddy, can you read the story again?”
“Of course, my little princess.”
John read the story in a soft voice and said all the right words, but his mind was elsewhere. Elsa was sick and no doctor in the land could make her better.
He walked to his own room when she fell asleep, his heart breaking at her ragged gasping breaths. They said their was something wrong with her lungs. They just weren’t growing fast enough, for some reason they couldn’t keep pace with the rest of her body.
Having a sick child is never fun, but is especially frustrating when they look perfectly normal. Elsa didn’t look sick, but to describe her as normal would be a cruelty. John thought she was the most beautiful little girl in the world, and not just because he was her father. Everything about her reminded him of her mother.
He cried softly every time he dyed her hair. He had done it her whole life; she thought it was normal. John reminded himself it was better this way, that he was protecting her, but he hated hiding the blue and green streaks inside a chemically made blond.
The telephone rang.
“Hello?”
“I’m on my way.”
“You’re late.”
“John, this is not the time-”
“I”m not fighting with you, it’s just that she’s not doing well.”
“I’ll be there soon, very soon.”
“Wake up, sweetie, Mommy’s here.” Elsa rolled over and smacked her lips before pushing herself up slowly.
“Is Mommy staying with us?”
“Elsa, you know that Mommy and Daddy love you, but Mommy can’t live here anymore. I’m sorry.” Elsa looked away and made an angry sad face. Her mother walked in the room and sat down in the bed.
“Wake up, sleepy head. ”
They walked down to the beach together, a happy normal family, together again. Elsa was already breathing hard from the short walk, so John picked her up and carried her the rest of the way. He kicked of his shoes at the edge of the boardwalk and Elsa laughed when he pulled her flip flops off. It was all new to her, they had lived in the desert her whole short life, she’d never even seen rain, and now there was the whole wide ocean.
“Are you ready for this, John?”
“No.” John walked slowly towards the water. it was still dark, but the dawn was coming soon. They told Elsa they wanted to watch the sun rise, that’s why they woke her up so early.
“No?”
“No, I’m not ready, but I have to do this.” Elsa looked at her Mommy and Daddy and felt confused.
“You know I love-”
“Don’t, don’t say it. Just keep walking.” John’s words were angry but he reached out his hand and his wife held it. He realized she was shaking and gave her a gentle squeeze. The water touched his toes. First a slight shock, then a relief as he felt the warm water flow up to his ankles.
“Time for you to learn how to swim, my sweet princess.”
John watched as his wife pulled their daughter under the waves. At first Elsa tried to scream, but then she breathed, breathed like she had never breathed before. Mommy helped her pull off her clothes that had wrapped around her new tail. She looked at her Mommy and saw that she had pulled of her clothes and had a tail too. The dye would last for a while, but soon her hair would have the streaks of sea green, just like Mommy. She looked back at her Daddy and smiled, then put her hand in her Mommy’s hand and began to swim where John could never follow.
John thought that he should be crying now, but as he watched the sun rise all he could do was smile.
